[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.4s] Three of the Merrill rock the boat again.
[6.0s] I break out into song from Guys and Dolls.
[9.2s] This is all that's been in my head, Amy, ever since he said rock the boat the first time.
[14.0s] You see off in the distance some fishing boats and they are beginning to paddle away from you.
[22.2s] They do not like the cut of our jib.
[23.9s] Could Donny, because he can speak to people telepathically using images.
[28.1s] He does that and they all look confused and some of them a bit scared.
[36.2s] The fact that they're seeing these images.
[39.1s] Against their will.
[40.2s] Oh my God.
[43.6s] What else do we see?
[44.5s] You see a large silhouette of a massive iceberg.
[50.2s] Guys, I think we should go there immediately.
[52.0s] Agreed.
[52.4s] What else are we doing?
[53.8s] Larry yell just don't make any sudden movements.
[57.8s] Okay, guys, one of the warriors comes up and knocks him out.
[63.0s] Thanks, Larry.
[64.1s] In fact, all three of you are struck from behind and are all knocked out.
[69.7s] You guys are brought out to the center of the village.
[72.6s] All of the people surrounding the area are all chanting a word,
[76.9s] which Larry tells you that this word is this man's name and it is Orca Heart.
[83.4s] They are chanting this louder and louder over and over again
[88.0s] until you are escorted into the center of this arena.
[98.3s] Flint, you are led into the center of this ring where you see you are on the map now.
[103.4s] And the man you've been speaking to,
[106.6s] he comes out to the center of the ring and he begins to do a little spiel,
[112.9s] which Larry roughly translates for you.
[117.2s] And he says that you are about to undergo a massive battle between Orca Heart,
[125.6s] our village's strongest warrior and the strongest warrior of these newcomers.
[131.0s] If our champion wins,
[133.0s] these people must hand over some of their fine steel weapons
[136.9s] and sail away immediately, never to return.
[139.8s] If the newcomers win, they will have earned their place among the villagers.
[146.0s] He goes on to say that no magic is allowed
[149.8s] and the fight must be until one contestant is unconscious and dying.
[155.9s] And he, the man who was talking, he's moved back to the side.
[162.8s] And there is another female.
[165.9s] She is, she looks like she's maybe the town
[173.3s] medicine woman or shaman.
[177.4s] I have one question before we start.
[180.1s] If my friends are off to the side and they see something
[184.6s] that might help me in the battle via, I don't know,
[187.0s] some sort of perception check or something, are they able to tell me about it?
[191.6s] Absolutely.
[192.7s] Yep.
[193.3s] Perfect.
[194.4s] So, yeah, yeah.
[197.4s] So you, as far as Nularaaa and Thea go,
[201.8s] if at any point you want to make a check of some sort,
[205.3s] just let me know and we can do that and then deal with that from there.
[210.2s] Cool.
[210.6s] Thea, why don't you occasionally do a magic check
[214.8s] to make sure they aren't breaking their own rules?
[219.1s] What a good idea.
[220.0s] Because you can do that, right?
[221.2s] Can you do detect magic or something?
[223.1s] Yeah, detect magic or, yeah.
[225.5s] I'm assuming Flynn's just going to win, so I'm not that worried, but.
[229.3s] Yeah, or a perception check.
[230.8s] If you notice somebody doing something that you're unsure of,
[233.2s] you can see if you can figure out what they're doing.
[235.8s] Okay.
[240.0s] That's okay.
[241.6s] So he's got a six for his initiative.
[245.5s] Okay, I got a ten.
[247.0s] Alright, so you, sir, are up first.
[249.2s] Alright.
[250.7s] Can I run a perception check just initially to get an eyeball at him?
[255.5s] Yes, yes, you can.
[258.6s] That's a 16.
[260.2s] He's a human male.
[263.8s] He's wearing, he has a shield, a spear, and he's wearing studded leather.
[271.3s] He's about twice your size, proportionately as wide.
[275.5s] He's a very muscular individual.
[277.9s] What is his shield made out of?
[280.0s] It is a metal shield.
[281.4s] That's stupid.
[282.3s] Get him to stick his tongue to it.
[285.2s] It is very cold.
[286.7s] Oh, how big is the shield?
[288.2s] Is it like, you know, just a buckler type of thing?
[291.3s] Or is it like a big kite shield?
[293.1s] It's a fairly sizable, probably more the size of a kite shield.
[296.4s] Okay, but since he's a giant human, it's probably not covering that much of it.
[300.1s] No, it would cover probably, you know, midsection.
[304.4s] Or if he were to kneel behind it, it would cover likely most of what you could see.
[309.8s] All right.
[311.3s] Okay, let's do this, I guess.
[312.7s] So what I would like to do right off the hop is some sort of attack where
[320.0s] I go for more of his knee slash shin area right off the start,
[325.3s] like fake like I'm going to go high, go low.
[328.5s] Maybe if there's some sort of like roll involved, I can do an acrobatics check.
[332.9s] But I figure I'll just be able to do that without too much difficulty.
[336.5s] I'll get you to make either an acrobatics or athletics check.
[340.8s] All right, let's check it.
[341.6s] Which one I have a bonus for acrobatics.
[347.3s] Oh, shit, I rolled a natural 20.
[349.1s] What?
[350.1s] I should have saved that for the attack.
[351.8s] But you know what?
[352.4s] I nailed the check.
[353.9s] So that's good.
[354.6s] You did.
[356.0s] You nailed it.
[356.6s] Yeah, you can do that.
[357.6s] So we'll take that.
[359.3s] So yes, if you hit with your attack check, you hit where you want to hit.
[365.3s] Yeah.
[367.7s] That is a 19.
[369.7s] One thing to note that we were playing incorrectly and have been playing incorrectly forever.
[376.6s] For like a year now?
[377.3s] Oh, sweet.
[377.9s] Yeah, forever.
[379.4s] When you're rolling against ac, if you match somebody's ac,
[383.4s] the person who's attacking wins that battle.
[386.0s] Oh, okay.
[386.9s] Is that coming into play right now?
[388.6s] Yes, it is.
[392.6s] With 19, you hit.
[394.0s] Okay.
[396.9s] Two D12 plus four.
[398.5s] All right, let's get the D12 going.
[401.1s] And not the group from Detroit that Eminem's part of.
[405.0s] Of course.
[405.4s] So that's eight.
[406.5s] Six is 10 plus four.
[408.2s] Hold on.
[408.7s] Eight and six is 14.
[409.4s] Sorry, hold on here, Flynn.
[412.0s] Did you move per chance?
[415.2s] Remember he ran and did like a roll?
[417.5s] I assume I like ran towards him.
[419.5s] I was just going to say, you know, using maps and stuff.
[423.4s] There you go.
[424.9s] Oh, sorry.
[427.4s] I was like, what are you talking about?
[428.6s] He did that amazing move.
[430.3s] I mean, I assumed it was part of my acrobatics check, but I wasn't sure.
[434.0s] You actually did it on the spot.
[435.2s] All right, so that was nice.
[438.0s] Watch out.
[438.5s] Intunidation tactic.
[439.4s] All right, so that was eight and six plus four.
[441.6s] So that is 18 on the first one.
[444.4s] Okay.
[445.0s] Second attack.
[446.7s] I guess I'll go for kind of the same thing since I'm already in the process of doing this.
[450.9s] Yeah, for sure.
[451.8s] And that's a 21, but not critical.
[453.9s] Of course, that's just with the bonus.
[458.0s] Nine on the first one.
[459.9s] A solid three on the second one and four is 16 damage.
[465.4s] I'm like screaming from the from the sidelines like,
[469.8s] slittest tendon.
[471.8s] Yeah, we're being very vocally supportive in a way that we are not currently.
[476.8s] So as not to like make Skype melt.
[479.6s] Yeah, no, I'm on board with it.
[480.8s] Screams and cheers.
[482.5s] That hit knocks him back kind of to this point to where, you know, he came into the arena
[491.9s] and he is helped back up by barking seal.
[496.2s] I do a perception check to make sure that as she helps him up,
[500.6s] she's not like healing his wounds.
[502.8s] Okay, make a perception check.
[504.2s] I'm gonna.
[506.6s] Do it then.
[507.3s] Nine.
[507.8s] What's your perception?
[509.0s] My perception?
[509.8s] I don't know.
[510.2s] You've got my thing there.
[511.1s] Seven.
[511.8s] Seven.
[512.2s] Okay, 16.
[514.2s] It doesn't appear that she is making any sort of move to heal any wounds.
[519.9s] Okay.
[520.1s] Well, I make like kind of like I'm really obviously staring at her
[523.5s] and then I like point to my eyes and then point to her with both my fingers.
[529.0s] She got it.
[529.9s] Yeah, she knows what's going on.
[531.2s] Good.
[532.6s] Okay, it is his turn.
[534.4s] So he is helped back up by barking seal and moves charges towards you with his shield.
[542.7s] That is he runs at you with his shield and bashes you with it for 18 against your AC.
[549.8s] Which is a good hit.
[551.7s] Yep.
[552.4s] And you will take eight bludgeoning damage
[557.4s] and you also have to make a strength saving throw.
[561.4s] Okay.
[563.8s] It's a 12 plus four so 16.
[566.6s] So you say you saved against being knocked prone.
[570.8s] Sweet.
[571.5s] And he comes in and attacks you again with his spear stabbing at you twice.
[578.9s] First one is a 16.
[582.5s] Not good enough.
[583.0s] Second one is a 25.
[585.7s] Not critical.
[586.6s] Definitely good enough.
[588.2s] You take 14 piercing damage with that second hit.
[595.9s] Okay.
[596.5s] And now it's your turn.
[597.4s] All right.
[599.3s] And his stab kind of gets the crowd built up in a frenzy as you take that hit there.
[605.8s] All right.
[608.9s] Okay.
[612.1s] So that's a 24 for my attack
[615.9s] and I guess I should continue to try to...
[620.1s] Guys, what should I do here?
[621.4s] Should I go for the body, try and get past the shield
[625.4s] or just keep attacking the lower region and try and cripple his movement?
[629.0s] It seems like a good strategy as a shorter man, a shorter dwarf, I should say.
[636.2s] That seems like a good strategy because then you can bash him upside the head
[641.8s] when he's down on the ground.
[643.0s] You can stop competing with his superior reach.
[646.6s] Yeah.
[646.8s] My hope is that he starts to favor his side and then I'm able to exploit that weakness.
[653.6s] All right.
[655.1s] Seven and four is 11 and four is 15 damage on that attack.
[660.1s] Yeah, it was.
[663.9s] All right.
[664.2s] Second attack.
[666.2s] That is a 19, which I think was good.
[669.2s] A 19 is good, yeah.
[672.7s] 10 damage on that one.
[674.3s] Oh shit, 12 on that one, so 22 and four is 26.
[678.3s] Wow.
[680.8s] He's looking bloodied.
[683.0s] He's showing noticeable signs of damage at this point.
[686.8s] But he actually drops his shield and makes a two-handed jab at you,
[699.6s] for lack of a better term, with his spear and he gets three attacks.
[705.8s] Oh shit.
[708.2s] On the first hit, that's a 29, not critical.
[714.7s] Oh my god.
[716.3s] No, that's a lie.
[717.2s] That's a lie.
[717.6s] 25, not critical.
[719.5s] That doesn't matter.
[720.2s] I wish the DM wouldn't lie.
[721.3s] I know.
[722.2s] I'm trying to keep it under wraps over here, but he turns back to me and he
[726.0s] does a secret dice stuff.
[727.6s] And loaded dice and all that stuff.
[731.3s] So that's 14 damage.
[734.2s] Second stab with his spear is only a 10 against your AC.
[740.0s] Third, however, is a 21, not critical.
[744.9s] And that will be eight piercing damage.
[748.3s] Well, that's not too bad.
[749.7s] I'm about halfway down for my hit points.
[751.7s] That's okay.
[753.1s] All right.
[754.1s] So my turn again?
[755.1s] Yes, sir.
[755.9s] Okay, I'm going to use my bonus action of a second wind, which enables me to
[762.6s] protect myself from damage and heal myself a little bit.
[765.4s] Fantastic.
[766.2s] Yes.
[766.5s] Well, I guess I should wait till he attacks me again to do that one, hey?
[769.4s] Because it lowers the attack for, let's see here.
[775.1s] Yeah, it protects me from harm and gives me some healing action.
[779.0s] So I'll wait till he attacks me again on that one.
[782.0s] However, I will go right back to attack him.
[784.3s] And since he has no shield now, because I'm assuming he did not pick it up.
[788.6s] He did not pick it up.
[789.5s] No.
[789.8s] I'm going to go straight for the neck.
[795.3s] So that's 25 on the attack roll.
[800.0s] Seven and seven and four is 18 damage.
[805.4s] And second attack is a 20, but not critical.
[810.4s] Five and three is eight plus four is 12.
[816.2s] He takes both of those hits and he's looking very worse for the wear.
[819.4s] Okay.
[820.1s] And he again charges at you with his spear and his first hit goes wide.
[828.1s] That's only 11.
[831.3s] Second is a 20, not critical.
[835.0s] And third is a 13.
[838.1s] So you take one hit and that will be 12 piercing damage.
[847.1s] All right.
[847.6s] Finish him.
[850.8s] Carla just gave me the thumbs down from the sidelines.
[855.9s] Make it so.
[856.6s] I don't want you to kill him.
[857.9s] I just want you to make him unconscious so we can like find out what these people know.
[862.4s] Yeah, can you like hit him over the head really hard and knock him unconscious?
[865.7s] I guess I could try to do that.
[867.1s] Try and do that.
[868.1s] Okay.
[870.6s] Or kill him if you want.
[872.2s] Or just cut him down in cold blood.
[874.6s] It's up to you.
[875.5s] I just would whatever.
[878.2s] You live by your own moral code.
[879.6s] I'm going to do my second win skill to recover some hit points just in case he
[885.9s] decides to like Hulk out on me or something.
[888.5s] So it's a 1d10 plus my fighter level.
[892.1s] That's a six plus eight is 14 damage I get back.
[898.1s] There we go.
[899.1s] And now I will attack him with the flat side of my axe in an attempt to render him
[906.3s] unconscious because he's looking quite bloody at this point.
[909.0s] Correct?
[909.8s] Yes, sir.
[911.0s] All right.
[911.7s] I will use the flat part of my two handed axe and try and just knock him
[917.1s] upside the old noggin.
[920.1s] So that's a 21 on the attack roll.
[922.4s] Nine and five is 14 plus four is 18.
[930.3s] So 18 damage on the flat of the axe.
[933.7s] I'm assuming there might be some sort of like damage mitigator because I'm not
[938.2s] using the edge.
[939.0s] It would be like bludgeoning damage instead of...
[942.5s] Well, yeah, it would still be...
[944.6s] He would still take it but I'm going to give him...
[947.8s] I'm going to make him make a saving throw to make sure he stays standing because
[955.0s] blunt force.
[956.8s] He gets knocked back a few steps kind of in that direction there.
[965.8s] On that hit there.
[966.8s] He's still awake.
[968.2s] He's still awake.
[968.7s] He's still standing, eh?
[969.9s] He's still standing.
[970.7s] Jesus.
[971.3s] All right.
[971.7s] He's saved throw.
[973.4s] I guess I'll do my second attack on him then.
[976.2s] Okay.
[977.4s] That is a 17.
[978.7s] I don't think that's going to cut it.
[980.1s] 17 is not good, no.
[983.4s] Yeah, like I said, he kind of stumbles backwards and he gives you a look like
[987.9s] he's coming at you for blood at this point.
[989.9s] Sweet.
[990.6s] Yeah.
[991.0s] Even though I tried to save his life.
[993.4s] Even though you tried to save his life, he rushes you with some sort of renewed
[999.3s] vigor and stumbles and slips on the ice.
[1004.6s] Oh dear.
[1005.0s] That's a one.
[1009.2s] Think having grown up there.
[1010.9s] You think.
[1012.0s] You would think.
[1012.6s] He'd be better.
[1013.1s] He just got bashed upside the head though, so I'm going to cut him some slack.
[1016.7s] Very true.
[1017.4s] Little woozy.
[1018.6s] But on the rebound, he gets 16.
[1023.5s] Still not good, but his final stab, he gets 23, that's a 23 versus AC.
[1030.6s] Well, that definitely hits.
[1032.2s] Final one connects.
[1034.3s] And that is 17 piercing damage.
[1039.7s] Oh, geez.
[1042.3s] So he's still looking worse for wear for us.
[1044.6s] Yeah.
[1045.0s] Okay, so if I wanted to use a healing potion right now, is that considered magic or am
[1052.7s] I able to do so?
[1053.8s] You could try.
[1055.5s] You can do whatever you want.
[1057.4s] Okay, no, I don't want to risk it.
[1059.3s] That doesn't sound good.
[1060.2s] In a battle to the death, a healing potion might be something that's frowned upon.
[1064.6s] I'm just putting that out there.
[1066.6s] All right.
[1067.0s] Well, in that case, I'm going to attack him twice and do my bonus attack of action
[1073.0s] surge.
[1074.2s] So he's got three attacks coming at him.
[1077.5s] Brace yourself.
[1078.6s] The first one's a 21.
[1081.4s] The second one is a 10, so that's not going to do it.
[1084.0s] And the third one is a 19.
[1086.3s] Two of those hit, yeah.
[1087.8s] All right, let's do this.
[1091.0s] Five damage, nine damage plus four is 13 for the first attack, five again, seven is 12,
[1100.7s] and four is 16.
[1102.3s] 29 total.
[1105.0s] Yep.
[1105.4s] You hit him twice there and the second time you hit him, he stumbles back again
[1112.4s] and you kind of see this glazed over look in his eye.
[1118.1s] See the light leave from his eyes?
[1121.0s] Yeah, yeah, and he drops to his knees and falls face down onto the ice.
[1130.4s] And the crowd, it was getting quieter.
[1133.4s] They were still cheering, but at this point, everybody's gone completely silent.
[1138.4s] Barking Seal comes out and checks his body and she calls out that the newcomers have
[1148.8s] won the battle.
[1151.9s] They are welcome in our village.
[1156.2s] Two other warrior types come towards you and escort the four of you back to the
[1163.6s] yurt that you were in before.
[1165.7s] You're kind of rushed out of the arena.
[1167.8s] And you're left to wait there for a little time.
[1172.1s] Is there anything you guys want to do or discuss while you're in there?
[1175.3s] Were we able to see if he was dead or alive?
[1178.6s] From what you could tell, he looks quite dead.
[1183.4s] Oh, all right.
[1184.3s] Sorry about that.
[1185.1s] You tried.
[1185.7s] I tried.
[1187.3s] You should take a healing potion now.
[1189.1s] That's probably a good idea.
[1191.2s] Or do something to fix yourself up a little bit.
[1194.6s] All right.
[1195.2s] Let me just roll some D4 here.
[1198.2s] Well, we're in this beautiful, beautiful yurt.
[1201.4s] That's right.
[1202.9s] Is this a yurt we woke up in unconscious that one time?
[1205.6s] Yep.
[1207.0s] I think it is.
[1208.2s] So that's nine hit points.
[1210.0s] I get back.
[1210.6s] Hooray.
[1211.5s] And are we in here for a short amount of rest time, Russ?
[1215.4s] Or is it just more of like we're off to the side and they're coming back right away?
[1220.1s] Someone will be coming in sooner than a short rest.
[1223.3s] Yeah.
[1223.6s] Okay.
[1223.9s] Since all of our stuff was taken away,
[1225.8s] can I assume now that we are being welcomed to the village, we get our stuff back?
[1230.6s] It's in that yurt.
[1231.8s] It is in that yurt, yes.
[1233.4s] So we just grab our stuff.
[1235.0s] There are two warriors kind of standing outside the yurt.
[1239.4s] But yes, you are in the yurt, so you are welcome to grab your stuff.
[1243.0s] Great.
[1243.4s] All right.
[1243.8s] I get my gear.
[1244.5s] I inspect it to make sure they didn't do any funny business.
[1247.4s] You want to make a funny business check?
[1248.6s] I'd like to make a funny business check.
[1251.2s] Damn it, I rolled a one.
[1252.3s] Ah, there was so much funny business.
[1255.3s] They definitely did some funny business.
[1256.2s] You see zero funny business about any of your stuff.
[1260.2s] Even though there are mustaches drawn all over it?
[1262.1s] Even though there are mustaches drawn in whale blood all over it.
[1267.9s] The googly eyes is the most offensive part.
[1270.6s] But you don't notice that.
[1271.8s] No.
[1272.1s] So it's fine.
[1272.6s] No, it looks fine.
[1273.3s] It looks good.
[1275.1s] Thank God no funny business was had here.
[1277.1s] Meanwhile, new Laura and I are just snickering in the background.
[1280.7s] You guys, you wait for a little while.
[1284.9s] Not a long amount of time.
[1287.4s] But Barking Seal comes in.
[1290.8s] The shaman person.
[1292.6s] She comes in and sits down.
[1294.1s] There's a stool in there.
[1296.1s] She says, it appears you have bested our finest warrior,
[1299.5s] as was the agreement with our village leader.
[1303.0s] You are welcome among our villagers.
[1304.8s] You can stay the night.
[1306.2s] He was under the impression you had some questions.
[1309.5s] I will do my best to answer what you have.
[1312.6s] As soon as you are able, you may be wise to be on your way.
[1317.8s] But if there's anything I can do to help in the meantime,
[1320.8s] you must be hungry.
[1322.2s] Would you like anything to eat?
[1324.0s] Yeah, sure.
[1325.0s] So let me get this right.
[1327.2s] You are down your best warrior.
[1331.2s] And we just get to hang out for a little bit and then be on our way?
[1334.6s] I look off into the distance just contemplating
[1337.7s] the amount of violence in the world and thinking,
[1341.7s] I'm really changing on this journey.
[1343.9s] I'm really changing.
[1347.3s] I think I'm changing for the worse because as the longer
[1350.2s] that battle went on and the guy didn't fall down,
[1352.3s] I started thinking, I'll just kill him.
[1356.1s] Some means to an end.
[1357.4s] We should eat some of their food because if fantasy has taught me anything,
[1363.0s] it is that if you eat food in someone's dwelling,
[1367.8s] then in theory, they should not harm you.
[1370.6s] Yes, it worked perfectly in Game of Thrones.
[1373.5s] It did not, but in all other situations.
[1377.0s] No, she said fantasy, Tom.
[1379.0s] She said fantasy.
[1379.9s] Oh, right.
[1380.5s] Not real life.
[1381.2s] Gotcha.
[1382.0s] Not real history of the actual world we live in.
[1385.2s] Right, right, right.
[1385.9s] Sorry, my bad, guys.
[1387.2s] And then we do have questions.
[1389.0s] Can we eat and ask questions at the same time?
[1391.5s] She sends one of the warriors to go bring some food.
[1395.6s] So she says, I'm happy to answer any of your questions while we wait.
[1400.2s] Oh, can she fix Tom up?
[1402.0s] I mean, Flint.
[1403.0s] She fixed Tom up.
[1403.8s] First question, is it like a set menu or do we have some options here?
[1410.8s] Unfortunately, it's not much of a menu here.
[1413.2s] We'll bring what the chef brings.
[1414.6s] It's going to be something whale related.
[1416.5s] No, it's theory.
[1417.4s] Blubba.
[1418.4s] So yes, Fianna is a good question.
[1420.7s] Maybe she can help heal up Tom a little bit.
[1423.2s] Sorry, not Tom.
[1425.0s] Maybe she can help heal up Flint a little bit.
[1427.4s] I know, I'm having trouble.
[1428.6s] Character voices.
[1432.3s] One step at a time, Ross.
[1434.8s] My next character will have a character voice.
[1436.9s] Oh, your next character.
[1437.7s] So you want me to kill your character often?
[1439.0s] Oh, don't kill my character.
[1442.2s] She just wants to graduate from Adventure Academy.
[1445.0s] Yes, I'm, no, don't kill off my character.
[1449.0s] See what I'm talking about?
[1450.0s] I will not intend to kill anybody's character.
[1452.9s] Oh, God.
[1453.5s] But if I do kill anyone, Amy, it's going to be your character.
[1456.2s] We're going to have so many more fight to the deaths coming our way.
[1459.2s] The spear was going straight for Flint's head and it took a right turn and went for Amy.
[1464.6s] Which is weird because spears don't normally travel in right angles.
[1468.3s] But this one did.
[1469.5s] It's like somebody was out to get her.
[1471.3s] It's like that crazy whistle thing that he has in Guardians of the Galaxy.
[1477.3s] That's what it is.
[1479.0s] She said, so what are your questions?
[1481.4s] Well, when we got here, we walked through those giant whale rib bones
[1487.4s] and you guys said that you killed them, but there was teeth marks on the bones.
[1493.2s] So how's that work?
[1498.5s] Next question.
[1500.2s] Our leader tells tales to attempt to fear off newcomers.
[1508.6s] That makes sense.
[1509.4s] He sometimes succeeds, sometimes doesn't.
[1511.9s] The majority of them were harvested from animals,
[1516.0s] whales, seals that we have brought in.
[1519.5s] Some of them were damaged when we found them by something much larger than us.
[1525.1s] So that is probably what you saw.
[1527.4s] This is a non-answer.
[1529.1s] How about that dragon then?
[1530.7s] Yeah.
[1531.2s] How about that dragon?
[1532.6s] How about damn dragons?
[1533.7s] The dragon?
[1535.5s] Don't play dumb with us, lady.
[1537.3s] You know the dragon.
[1538.3s] A Guthridor.
[1541.6s] A Ruthator.
[1550.6s] So yes, there is or was a dragon around here.
[1554.7s] What is your interest in dragons?
[1557.0s] We would like to stop them from getting all up in the dragon cult,
[1563.8s] being a part of, you know, ripping apart our world.
[1567.0s] The dragon cult?
[1568.3s] The cult of the dragons.
[1569.4s] The cult of the dragons.
[1571.8s] I don't know what you speak of.
[1573.5s] Oh, dragons are coming, man.
[1575.4s] They're going to rip apart this world.
[1576.8s] And you are sent to stop them.
[1579.0s] Yes.
[1579.6s] Do you want to make a creature out of them?
[1583.0s] Want to make a Charisma or Persuasion check?
[1586.9s] Twelve.
[1587.9s] And my Charisma is...
[1589.1s] Persuasion you've got plus two.
[1591.1s] Charisma I've got better than that.
[1592.4s] You've got two.
[1594.2s] Okay, fine.
[1595.3s] Fourteen.
[1596.5s] She looks at you a little skeptical.
[1598.7s] She says you are powerful warriors,
[1601.2s] but I've seen many powerful warriors go up against several dragons
[1605.0s] and not fare very well.
[1607.4s] We don't necessarily want to kill the dragons.
[1609.7s] We want to just stop them from teaming up
[1612.3s] with the cult that's trying to raise Tiamat.
[1614.9s] Truth.
[1615.4s] Flint, do you want to make a Charisma check too?
[1617.6s] Yeah, do better than you.
[1620.0s] Hey, I did better than you.
[1621.3s] That's a seventeen.
[1622.8s] I love when people listen to me.
[1624.4s] She seems a little more persuaded by what you're saying.
[1629.8s] She says our village has been plagued for many years
[1635.2s] by a dragon, a Guthator, as you so eloquently put his name.
[1641.7s] A Guthator.
[1644.3s] A Ruthator.
[1645.5s] You were looking for a woman as well?
[1649.3s] Yes.
[1650.4s] Does anyone remember her name?
[1652.2s] Hold on.
[1653.3s] Yes.
[1653.8s] No, I've got it.
[1656.1s] Maccoth the Crimson.
[1657.9s] Yes.
[1658.4s] No stuff.
[1661.3s] She knows about the Drakorn.
[1663.0s] Yes.
[1663.5s] She came looking for the Drakorn.
[1666.2s] What does she look like?
[1667.8s] Oh my god.
[1669.0s] Because you're talking to her right now?
[1675.0s] She's a Tiefling.
[1675.9s] She's a Tiefling.
[1676.7s] Oh, she's a Tiefling.
[1678.2s] She probably wears red, being as her name is the Crimson.
[1682.2s] Or has red hair?
[1683.3s] Could be.
[1684.1s] Also possible.
[1685.1s] But yeah, I don't have anything about her appearance written down.
[1689.4s] You know, and she's like alone and wandering.
[1692.2s] Oh, she's a Tiefling.
[1693.6s] She was apparently attacked by frost giants.
[1696.0s] There have been tales of a horned lady seen throughout the North.
[1701.8s] She was aboard a ship that was wrecked.
[1703.9s] Hey, Tieflings have horns, guys.
[1705.5s] I'm looking at the picture right now.
[1707.2s] I was totally just looking it up.
[1709.4s] I was just googling it like, what's a Tiefling look like?
[1712.2s] I just sat here like, yeah, I'm going to pretend I know what a Tiefling looks like.
[1715.8s] And then I thought, does she have the Drakorn on her head?
[1719.1s] Is that why she's...
[1722.3s] Like Carmen Miranda style?
[1724.1s] She's just wearing...
[1725.1s] Oh my god, yes.
[1726.3s] Says yes.
[1726.9s] There have been tales of a horned lady who was aboard a ship that was wrecked.
[1734.4s] And she has been seen in the North.
[1736.7s] And as she finishes saying that, the warrior comes back in with,
[1741.2s] for lack of a better term, sacks of food.
[1743.8s] Sweet.
[1744.2s] And you look at them.
[1746.0s] Love me a good food sack.
[1747.8s] It looks like a raw fish type product.
[1751.6s] Smells a little tangy.
[1754.6s] A little perhaps biting to the nose.
[1757.3s] I eat it no problem.
[1758.7s] Me too.
[1759.4s] I lived in the woods like, I'm cool.
[1761.1s] I don't think I...
[1761.8s] Oh yeah, scarf that down.
[1762.9s] Yeah, I'm not fancy.
[1764.4s] Oh, but first I make a perception check.
[1766.2s] I don't want to be poisoned.
[1768.8s] You scarf that down, but as you're scarfing down...
[1771.8s] I make a perception check.
[1773.8s] I feel like I have it hanging out of my mouth part way.
[1776.5s] You could make a perception...
[1778.8s] Yeah, okay.
[1779.7s] Okay, is anybody else making a check?
[1782.1s] Oh, I guess we all should.
[1783.0s] A perception or intelligence or investigation check.
[1786.6s] Oh, I'll do investigation then.
[1789.4s] Whoa, 19.
[1790.6s] So it doesn't appear to any of you that there is anything wrong with it.
[1796.0s] It looks perhaps spoiled to your sense and sensibilities.
[1803.4s] What about my pride and prejudice?
[1805.3s] But you don't...
[1807.1s] I was just thinking that.
[1809.3s] I was like, Jane Austen has good manners, so will I.
[1816.1s] It doesn't appear to you that it is poisoned.
[1819.2s] It doesn't appear to you that it's great food,
[1821.3s] but it doesn't appear that it's poisoned.
[1822.9s] All right, I'll scarf it down.
[1823.9s] You may get food poisoning from it afterward.
[1827.4s] All right, hey, did we ask Barking Seal if she could heal Flint?
[1833.8s] We've just kind of skirted around that.
[1835.2s] It's been brought up a couple times, so you haven't said anything.
[1837.7s] It's because you were like, maybe we should ask her,
[1839.3s] and then you asked her other questions.
[1841.8s] Hey, Barking Seal, is there any way that you could
[1844.8s] help me get some hit points back here?
[1846.6s] Absolutely, I could do that.
[1848.1s] That would be great.
[1848.8s] She whispers an incantation, and you gain 27 hit points back.
[1856.6s] Whoa, can she join our group?
[1858.6s] Wow, totally.
[1860.6s] Barking Seal, do you want to come on an adventure?
[1863.1s] Thea feels really like pushed aside and sad,
[1866.8s] that she used to be the magic one in the group, and now-
[1869.4s] Do you get cure wounds?
[1871.4s] She does, but she has not casted on me once.
[1873.9s] Hey, I do not have cure wounds.
[1875.8s] You don't?
[1876.6s] I thought you did.
[1877.4s] You had some sort of curing spell.
[1878.9s] I had it at one point, and then we never, ever used it,
[1881.9s] and then I was like, I'm going to use something
[1883.4s] that I can light with one fire.
[1885.8s] Well, welcome aboard, Barking Seal.
[1887.7s] She says thank you for the offer, but I needed to stay here.
[1891.8s] All right, well, thank you for the heal.
[1893.0s] That was very nice.
[1893.9s] As you guys are eating, she begins to tell you,
[1898.4s] well, she already mentioned that her village has been plagued
[1901.0s] by a dragon, Herithator, in the past,
[1906.2s] and what Bone Carver may have told you
[1909.4s] is that he is, you know, deceased.
[1911.9s] He is no more.
[1912.8s] That is a lie.
[1915.7s] Well, der.
[1916.8s] Well, der.
[1918.8s] Well, der indeed.
[1920.3s] Well, der indeed, good sir.
[1921.9s] That is a lie.
[1924.2s] In fact, the iceberg that we are standing on
[1927.6s] is one of his lairs beneath the ice.
[1931.0s] Well, then.
[1932.2s] We were procured into guarding the surface
[1937.0s] through fear of him destroying our people and our village,
[1942.2s] and I am convinced by the warriors that you appear to be,
[1946.4s] and by the tales that you tell,
[1948.8s] that you might be helpful to our cause
[1953.5s] in releasing us from Herithator.
[1957.1s] Is that something you'd be interested in?
[1958.7s] Sure we will.
[1961.0s] Hold on a second.
[1962.3s] Everyone is recruiting us for their cause,
[1964.7s] but right now we have a cause,
[1966.6s] so we'll help you if you help us find Macath the Crimson.
[1971.7s] She tells you, she begins to describe
[1975.8s] the rough layout of a herithator's lair
[1979.4s] and the fact that the horned lady that you speak of
[1983.2s] is in fact held captive within his lair.
[1987.3s] Well, see, now you could have led with that.
[1992.7s] Unless you're lying.
[1994.3s] You could make a check.
[1996.4s] I'm gonna check and see if you're lying.
[1998.9s] Never mind, I don't care.
[2002.1s] Doesn't matter what kind of check.
[2004.1s] We're good here, don't worry about it.
[2005.4s] No, I rolled a two.
[2006.5s] Oh, you rolled a two.
[2007.6s] Yeah, you're certain she's telling the truth.
[2009.6s] Good.
[2009.9s] Gosh, the most truthful lady I've ever seen you guys.
[2014.9s] She goes into quite some detail about
[2018.5s] the passages and the ceilings,
[2020.2s] and that everything is carved from very slick ice
[2025.4s] and basically a rough layout of where certain rooms are.
[2030.2s] I'm gonna melt the shit out of that place.
[2032.9s] Where certain rooms are within a herithator's lair
[2037.0s] beneath the surface of this iceberg
[2039.3s] and that once you are in the main level,
[2042.4s] which there are entrances from the village hall
[2046.0s] and entrances through bone carvers' personal hut.
[2052.6s] So there are two ways to get in there.
[2054.6s] As she begins describing all this to you,
[2058.1s] you start to feel a little woozy.
[2061.8s] Oh, fuck.
[2063.5s] Oh, man.
[2065.0s] Do you want to make a constitution saving throw?
[2068.1s] So that we don't throw up?
[2070.7s] 18 plus whatever my-
[2073.8s] 21.
[2074.8s] Modifiers.
[2076.2s] 15.
[2077.8s] So you all, your vision begins to narrow
[2085.0s] and you feel quite ill.
[2087.5s] Can you tell me what-
[2088.2s] You want me to say 21, right?
[2090.5s] Can you tell me what we would have had to have rolled
[2093.6s] in order to not lose that constitution?
[2094.7s] I'm not done yet.
[2095.8s] I'm not done yet.
[2098.5s] We are outraged.
[2099.8s] And we're all dead.
[2100.6s] All right, adventure over.
[2101.8s] Nularaaaa, you fall to the ground.
[2105.3s] You are unconscious and you take 16 poison damage.
[2111.8s] Flint and Thea, you take eight poison damage each.
[2117.2s] You are still conscious, but you can't really see straight
[2126.3s] and two warriors come in and they go to tie you up.
[2131.2s] So this is how you make people welcome in your village, hey?
[2134.0s] Make a strength check to avoid being tied up with disadvantage.
[2141.0s] So what does this advantage mean?
[2142.4s] Minus two?
[2143.8s] Roll your dice twice and take the lowest of them.
[2147.8s] Oh, okay.
[2149.4s] Well, fuck.
[2150.1s] The lowest was 11.
[2151.4s] Plus my strength bonus?
[2152.7s] Yeah.
[2153.0s] Okay, 15.
[2153.8s] Five plus, what's my strength bonus?
[2158.1s] Well, both of you actually lose.
[2160.7s] In my struggle to not be tied up, can I cast a spell?
[2164.3s] Sure.
[2165.0s] Yeah, all right.
[2167.3s] Okay, I'm going to do-
[2170.3s] What do I want to do?
[2172.1s] I want to do-
[2173.4s] Produce flame.
[2174.2s] Yeah, let's just, yeah.
[2175.7s] So I do that because I don't need a roll for that.
[2178.0s] Yeah, but you need to tell me what damage it does.
[2180.4s] Oh, right.
[2183.8s] Oops, nope, that wasn't a real roll.
[2186.9s] Produce flame.
[2188.2s] All this time I'm just laying there unconscious.
[2190.2s] Yeah, sorry.
[2191.8s] That's what I'm doing.
[2192.6s] Sorry, man.
[2193.2s] It's all right.
[2193.8s] 11 fire damage.
[2197.4s] Yeah, how do you want to do this?
[2198.9s] I'm not going down without a fight.
[2200.3s] So that warrior that you hit with that
[2204.2s] takes that damage and basically runs out of the yurt.
[2208.6s] Yeah, he does.
[2209.4s] Barking seal says, I'm very sorry that this has happened.
[2213.3s] I didn't mean to do this.
[2215.0s] Bonecarver must be in charge of something.
[2217.3s] Honest to God.
[2218.2s] Oh, you're scared now, are you?
[2219.8s] She says, I can fix your friend and get you into the lair.
[2224.8s] Please don't kill me.
[2226.7s] When you put it that way.
[2227.6s] What's his other guard doing?
[2228.9s] Because now I'm unguarded, but someone's still trying to wrestle for-
[2233.6s] No, sorry, the warrior's left.
[2234.9s] Oh, both of them.
[2235.3s] Both warriors left.
[2235.9s] OK, cool.
[2236.6s] Yeah.
[2236.9s] All right, well, it seems like the alternative is
[2239.6s] more people come in and kick our ass,
[2241.4s] so we might as well go into the lair.
[2243.7s] Did she wake me up?
[2244.6s] Can I talk now?
[2245.4s] Yeah, I say-
[2245.8s] But did you agree to-
[2247.0s] Yes.
[2247.4s] Yes.
[2247.8s] Let's see.
[2248.6s] Fix her.
[2249.4s] I'm mad.
[2250.7s] You are conscious and you get back what you lost.
[2256.2s] You feel great.
[2257.0s] So I'm all healed.
[2259.6s] Flint, you get back 25.
[2262.1s] I think you should be able to take that.
[2264.1s] And you're probably just going to take back.
[2266.6s] So yeah, you get back what you-
[2268.2s] So she heals you all back up and says,
[2273.1s] in order to move through the village, it's almost night time.
[2276.6s] I can move you into the town hall once the sun sets.
[2280.9s] Get you down into Arithitar's lair.
[2283.0s] So just to clarify, she's on board with us helping get rid of the dragon,
[2287.4s] but the other leader is not, so he's trying to pull shenanigans?
[2291.8s] Apparently.
[2292.6s] Is he just mad we beat his best guy?
[2294.6s] I want to talk to this bozo.
[2296.1s] Bonecarver lives in constant fear.
[2299.3s] Basically, if anybody new comes into our village, Arithitar is to know.
[2304.8s] He may even know that you're here now if he's down there,
[2308.6s] because somebody from the village is supposed to go down
[2312.1s] and let them know that there are new people here.
[2315.2s] So he may know that you're here already based on the way
[2318.2s] Bonecarver has done something to your food.
[2321.4s] All right.
[2322.0s] Is it possible to have someone from the village come with us?
[2327.8s] I feel like if we are going into tunnels beneath their village
[2332.4s] and there are only- there's only two entrants slash exits,
[2337.1s] and one is in the private quarters of the guy that just tried to kill us,
[2342.9s] I would like someone- I don't know.
[2345.6s] Does it make sense for someone to come with us?
[2347.9s] Because then maybe they won't block up the passages so we can't get out.
[2354.3s] Yeah, but if someone comes with us who's to say that we can even trust them,
[2359.1s] they could lead us into a deep maze and then ditch us and then block the exit.
[2364.0s] Based on her descriptions of the caves,
[2367.3s] you guys feel that you can navigate them reasonably well.
[2372.4s] She's given you rough locations of where things are.
[2376.4s] She tells you more about what's down there.
[2381.4s] There are a clan of kobolds that Aruthatar has brought in.
[2390.6s] The ice toads live beneath the surface as well as ice trolls,
[2396.6s] guard Aruthatar's hoard, his treasure.
[2399.6s] Well, maybe the best thing to do is to sneak us down there and then tell Bonecarver,
[2404.1s] sure, that we fled after being attacked.
[2408.3s] That does sound like it would work.
[2410.9s] One question for you, Barking Seal.
[2414.5s] Yes.
[2415.0s] What room is- shit, what's the lady's name?
[2419.0s] I can never remember her name.
[2420.4s] Macoth.
[2421.1s] Macoth.
[2421.7s] What room is Macoth being kept in?
[2423.5s] Is she in the treasure hoard or is she in a cell of some sort?
[2427.8s] What's going on with her?
[2428.7s] Macoth is on the main level of the iceberg.
[2433.7s] There are two levels of the iceberg.
[2437.0s] The first is where all the trophies, where Macoth is.
[2442.4s] She's kept more towards the back near the scriptorium
[2446.0s] where there are many magic books and tomes and spells and all that kept.
[2452.6s] And also near the treasure room.
[2455.6s] She has her own quarters down there though.
[2458.0s] She tells you the rough location of where the ice troll's quarters are,
[2463.8s] where the ice toad's lair is, some other dens and junk rooms and stuff on the first floor.
[2470.6s] She says the second floor, the lower floor, is all Aruthator's lair.
[2476.9s] Where he, when he's here, where he is.
[2481.0s] So once you drop down into that area, that is his area.
[2485.1s] It is a large space.
[2486.3s] You might not run into him as soon as you drop down there.
[2489.0s] So Aruthator and Macoth are on the same level?
[2492.9s] They're both on the lower level?
[2494.5s] No, Macoth is on the first level.
[2497.6s] Okay.
[2498.1s] And then Aruthator has the entire lower level
[2500.6s] and he is able to enter and leave through different tunnels underwater.
[2505.4s] From the surface you don't necessarily see him coming and going.
[2508.6s] Okay, well let's wait for night and go.
[2512.1s] I guess we should make this happen, yeah.
[2513.7s] Where's Larry during all of this?
[2515.2s] Did he go back on the boat?
[2516.6s] Yeah, Larry's not there.
[2519.8s] Where is Larry?
[2521.2s] Larry went back to the boat.
[2522.3s] Okay, for realsies.
[2524.9s] He wasn't given the fish?
[2526.6s] He wasn't given the fish.
[2528.5s] You were escorted to your yurt and he was escorted off the premises.
[2534.8s] So he's no longer there.
[2535.9s] You can assume that he's back at his boat.
[2537.8s] Okay, cool.
[2539.4s] We wait for nightfall.
[2544.5s] Hey there, it's me, your Dungeon Master Russ More.
[2549.6s] Thanks so much for joining us for episode four of Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2553.0s] This one titled, Something Fishy.
[2555.4s] Just wanted to run a few things by you.
[2557.0s] There's a few new ways that you can find us
[2559.2s] and when you're telling all your friends about us,
[2560.9s] obviously you can tell them where to go to find us.
[2564.2s] I think we can now say that Dumbgeons and Dragons
[2566.9s] is now available wherever you download podcasts, right?
[2571.0s] That's pretty cool.
[2572.2s] We are on iTunes, of course, but as of this week,
[2574.9s] we should be up on Google Play Music in Canada and US.
[2578.6s] That's the only places that they offer that service right now.
[2581.5s] From the sounds of it, we have had a great first month
[2584.8s] for people finding and listening to the show,
[2587.1s] which brings me to our first comment read on the pod.
[2589.4s] It's pretty exciting.
[2590.4s] This comes from Jimmy Bo Bob Brain and he says,
[2593.3s] Awesome D&D podcasts.
[2595.2s] These D&D freaks are super funny
[2597.5s] and really make you feel like you're having fun with them.
[2600.1s] Great work.
[2600.9s] Download this.
[2602.3s] Absolutely.
[2603.2s] Download all of them.
[2604.5s] That is honestly the nicest thing to date
[2606.6s] that anyone has ever said about us.
[2607.9s] So thank you, Jimmy Bo Bob Brain.
[2610.5s] I like your name.
[2611.4s] It's good.
[2612.1s] If you think about it after this episode,
[2613.6s] if you could leave us a rating and review
[2615.1s] about something you like about the show,
[2617.6s] the format, us specifically, whatever.
[2621.0s] I hear that helps podcasts move up in the ranks sometimes.
[2623.9s] Even if it doesn't,
[2624.8s] we love to hear if you're liking the show.
[2627.0s] If you want to be more involved in the D&D universe,
[2629.8s] you can visit dumbdragons.com now.
[2633.4s] All of our social media and email links are all listed there.
[2636.6s] Or you just find us on Twitter.
[2637.8s] We are at DumbDragonCast.
[2639.7s] And I don't know if I'm hashtagging correctly,
[2642.5s] but you can use the DumbDragonCast hashtag
[2645.6s] so we can track you down
[2647.4s] and find out who's talking to and about us.
[2650.2s] We will eventually try and work that
[2652.2s] into something within the show.
[2654.5s] Not sure what that will be,
[2655.8s] but if you do it,
[2657.8s] you could be part of the show at some point.
[2660.1s] On Facebook, we're at Facebook.com slash DumbDragonCast.
[2663.6s] And we keep both of those up to date
[2665.5s] with the latest episode details.
[2667.7s] And we also post some other cool D&D
[2669.8s] and RPG related stuff that you might find interesting.
[2672.3s] So come join and chat with us up there.
[2674.7s] That's it for me though.
[2675.7s] Thanks again for joining our journey to adventure.
[2678.5s] Let's see if those crazy kids
[2680.2s] can break into a dragon's lair, right?
[2682.2s] Yeah, it's gonna be fun.
[2683.8s] Our next episode will be out February 15th.
[2686.3s] You have a wonderful couple of weeks
[2687.8s] and we'll talk to you then.
[2690.1s] The Nightfall
[2695.8s] Nightfall comes and she sneaks you out of the yurt
[2700.5s] that you're in towards the village hall.
[2704.8s] And you go in there, there's nobody else in there.
[2707.4s] And hidden beneath some planks
[2708.9s] in the back corner of the village hall
[2711.0s] is where you find the entrance to the ice caves,
[2714.2s] which descend down a chute with icy stairs
[2717.8s] in a tight spiral.
[2719.4s] And she says it goes down about a hundred feet.
[2722.4s] There are areas that you wanna watch out for
[2726.2s] descending down into that you might slip.
[2729.4s] So just be careful going down those icy stairwells.
[2732.3s] And once you're down there,
[2734.0s] the room at the bottom should be empty.
[2736.9s] You shouldn't run into any trolls or toads
[2738.8s] once you get down there.
[2740.0s] But as you're walking through the halls
[2741.8s] and walking into other rooms,
[2743.7s] just be cautious that you might run into
[2745.8s] unexpected visitors or guests.
[2748.1s] Expected now.
[2749.5s] Okay. Yeah, let's do this.
[2751.0s] Here we go.
[2752.2s] Down the super slippery stairs.
[2754.7s] As you're descending down,
[2757.2s] if you wanna make an acrobatics check,
[2759.3s] dexterity acrobatics.
[2764.3s] I like that sound already.
[2766.8s] Oh, I got a natural 20.
[2769.3s] Nice.
[2771.0s] All right.
[2771.4s] I'm gonna walk down some stairs.
[2773.7s] I got nine, a 10.
[2775.8s] I had an 18 after bonuses.
[2777.8s] What order are you walking down the stairs in?
[2780.7s] I'll go first.
[2781.8s] So that I don't, you know, bowl you guys over.
[2787.8s] I'll go first.
[2789.2s] I'm like itching to like, you know, fight something.
[2793.7s] You see, who's right behind Thea?
[2797.0s] Me, I guess.
[2798.1s] You see Thea fall.
[2800.7s] Do you want to try and catch her?
[2804.7s] Well, I did roll that 20.
[2806.2s] I got sure footing.
[2807.4s] You saved yourself.
[2808.5s] That's for sure.
[2811.4s] You guys could just laugh.
[2812.6s] It's okay.
[2814.4s] I yell, I'll meet you at the bottom.
[2818.4s] Avenge me.
[2820.3s] Yeah, I can, I can try and grab her.
[2823.2s] What do I have to roll?
[2824.2s] Strength or athletics?
[2825.5s] Yeah, whatever you've.
[2827.3s] I rolled a 15 with a plus four.
[2829.4s] So 19.
[2830.7s] So you managed to catch her.
[2835.0s] She only slips a couple of stairs.
[2838.0s] Straighten up.
[2838.6s] That was embarrassing.
[2839.8s] And as you, so she picks herself up and dusts herself off.
[2843.8s] And as you keep going down, the stairs kind of get a little easier to walk down.
[2850.0s] And you enter a room that is empty except for a dozen baskets woven from leather strips
[2860.6s] and walrus ribs stacked in the in the north corner of the room.
[2865.0s] And these contain frozen fish and a few skin wrapped bundles of rotting shark meat.
[2874.8s] And that is all that's in that room.
[2876.8s] And I've got a map.
[2877.5s] I'll pull up here just a second.
[2879.1s] I'm just going to move Thea's thing.
[2881.3s] So that's the room you are in.
[2885.6s] And it leads out into a hall here.
[2888.4s] Is it lit?
[2890.2s] It is.
[2891.6s] Like the band lit?
[2893.4s] Don't steal my sunshine.
[2896.0s] No, that's lens.
[2897.0s] Oh, who's lit?
[2899.4s] Are they the ones that had that Pamela Anderson video?
[2902.3s] Yes, that's them.
[2903.4s] Yeah.
[2903.9s] It is lit by a few whale oil lamps kind of run.
[2908.9s] There's a couple of them in the room.
[2910.9s] And as you look into the hall, you can see that they are lined throughout the caves.
[2918.5s] How convenient.
[2919.5s] I would like to pull out my sword and say Mui Caliente just so it's ready.
[2925.8s] Of course.
[2926.1s] Just in case.
[2927.4s] Seems like a good idea.
[2928.4s] And also it probably is a good source of light.
[2930.6s] Yeah, light would keep us a little bit warm.
[2932.8s] It's good.
[2933.4s] As far as where Macoth is, if you kind of zoom out on the map there,
[2941.8s] the way she described it is the treasure room and Macoth's room and the scriptorium
[2948.1s] and all that is all kind of along the back wall there.
[2953.0s] So the 10, 11, 12, 13, 14.
[2955.6s] 10 to 14 area.
[2957.2s] Great.
[2957.7s] Let's go that way.
[2958.6s] You go out into the hall there and it kind of slopes down.
[2967.4s] You walk by room seven there.
[2971.8s] Do you look into that room?
[2973.2s] What do you do?
[2974.2s] I'm kind of a like no room left unturned kind of person.
[2977.4s] I agree for no reason because all it's going to be is a trap.
[2981.3s] But let's do it.
[2982.6s] Come on.
[2982.9s] We can't just walk past.
[2984.1s] Who knows what's in there.
[2985.4s] If we turn ourselves invisible again, I'm sure Russ would hate that.
[2990.0s] You have the pass without a trace potion,
[2991.8s] but Carla has the pass without a trace whenever the fuck she wants.
[2994.6s] I know.
[2995.4s] Yeah.
[2995.6s] That's just in case she drops another potion.
[2997.6s] That's true.
[2998.4s] I was actually going to say if we're never going to use it, Carla,
[3000.5s] you should get yourself a better, a better spell.
[3002.8s] You know what?
[3003.3s] I just I'm so torn about it because it's so great that it feels like cheating.
[3008.4s] And yeah, it totally does.
[3010.1s] Fuck anything you've had planned, Russ.
[3011.8s] We're going to I feel gross about using it,
[3015.8s] but let's keep it in mind.
[3017.0s] Maybe once we like complete our mission, we need to peace out.
[3020.8s] Maybe that's a more appropriate or like non gross way to use it.
[3026.4s] You know, like we've completed the mission and fought everybody.
[3029.0s] And then we just need to like skedaddle back to the boat.
[3032.9s] Sneak away quietly.
[3034.2s] Exactly.
[3034.8s] Instead of like just running around, avoiding all danger.
[3039.5s] Ah, we'll leave it.
[3040.6s] Yeah, let's go into room seven.
[3041.9s] So as you walk into this room here,
[3044.5s] as you get right into the front doorway there, visibility is a very,
[3048.8s] it's a room filled with fog.
[3052.5s] So visibility of this room is about 45 feet.
[3056.6s] As you move into the chamber,
[3060.0s] the shape of a frost giant becomes dimly visible at about 60 feet.
[3066.4s] Is he sleeping?
[3067.7s] Do you keep walking towards?
[3068.5s] Do we back out you guys or do we fight him?
[3071.5s] Has he noticed us?
[3073.0s] It doesn't appear he's made a move towards you or away from you in any way.
[3077.9s] Interesting.
[3078.7s] What's safer, like sneak attacking someone or leaving them to maybe get us later?
[3084.8s] Or like what if there's 10 of them in here?
[3086.7s] Yeah, that's my thing.
[3087.6s] Like what if he's not the only one?
[3089.4s] How big is the frost giant again?
[3091.2s] Big.
[3093.4s] How big?
[3093.9s] This room is 15 feet, right?
[3097.4s] Yeah.
[3098.0s] So it's 60.
[3101.0s] So there's a lot of extra space in there.
[3103.6s] But like 90 feet across, it's like almost 90 by 90 ish.
[3109.8s] This could be like a whole like whole clan of these guys.
[3113.4s] About 15 feet tall, 15 feet wide.
[3116.0s] So they take up one full square.
[3118.2s] Whereas you take up a third of a square.
[3121.8s] Could we set up some kind of like sneak back out?
[3125.3s] I have sheathed my sword so it is no longer glowing.
[3129.8s] And like set some kind of trap in the door?
[3132.2s] Anybody got any trap skills?
[3134.6s] Because if we put a trap in the entryway, then they would
[3138.4s] like, can we just like tie some rope across or something?
[3140.5s] Just so that they trip on the way out.
[3143.0s] Some sort of trip wire.
[3144.2s] Yeah, just so that it like warns us a little bit if they leave that room
[3149.0s] without us having to go and fight who knows how many frost giants.
[3153.2s] We technically don't know that there isn't another exit from that room.
[3157.2s] That is true.
[3158.1s] There could be tunnels.
[3159.4s] True.
[3159.9s] So do you, does that mean you want to fight, Fia?
[3162.4s] Let's do it.
[3163.0s] Let's fight.
[3163.4s] Let's fight.
[3163.8s] What else are we doing?
[3164.7s] Let's do it.
[3165.5s] Let's sneak in.
[3166.7s] I pull my sword back out and whisper Mui Kelly into it.
[3169.3s] No, let's sneak in.
[3171.5s] It's darkish, right?
[3172.9s] Okay.
[3173.4s] It's foggy.
[3174.1s] It's foggy.
[3174.6s] Well, yeah, visibility is about 45 feet.
[3177.4s] So you can see, well, you can see at about a distance of,
[3184.6s] it appears that this giant is about 60 feet from you,
[3189.0s] from roughly the entrance of this area.
[3192.1s] But he's not looking at us.
[3193.0s] But it doesn't appear that he's looking at you.
[3194.8s] You can kind of see the outline of it.
[3196.8s] Let's still check that bitch.
[3198.2s] Yeah, let's see if we can get in here stealthily.
[3201.0s] God, I can't roll for a shit today.
[3203.4s] Oh, God.
[3205.0s] I rolled a seven.
[3206.5s] I think I have a, I actually don't know what that means
[3209.6s] on these sheets with, it has numbers beside it.
[3211.9s] Is that what I add on?
[3213.0s] Yeah.
[3213.2s] On the, you know, in the checklist there?
[3215.0s] Yeah.
[3215.3s] Okay.
[3215.6s] Anyway, it's still a 10.
[3216.6s] It's still terrible.
[3217.5s] So I had an 18.
[3219.9s] You are sneaky as F.
[3222.3s] That's right.
[3223.7s] The three of you begin walking in there
[3226.6s] and Thea and Nulara very clearly aren't trying to be stealthy in any way, shape or form.
[3234.2s] But as you get to about 45 feet from this figure, he doesn't take,
[3241.1s] he doesn't move as you make a lot of noise and jump around
[3244.5s] and scream and holler and whatever you're doing.
[3247.9s] So much screaming.
[3250.6s] I think that Thea came in like Tom Cruise in Risky Bitsys.
[3255.8s] Oh, there you go.
[3257.0s] And then just kept sliding.
[3258.6s] Yeah.
[3261.0s] Did she perhaps want some of that old time rock and roll as well?
[3264.2s] Yeah.
[3264.4s] Like it looks so cool.
[3265.8s] It's not smart for safety, but she looks awesome,
[3269.0s] especially with those Ray-Bans on.
[3270.4s] What?
[3271.2s] You get about 45 feet from this giant and it still hasn't taken any move towards you
[3280.0s] or noticed you.
[3281.3s] It in fact looks like it is just standing perfectly still
[3287.0s] and as you get to about 30 feet, you recognize that this giant is dead and frozen
[3295.4s] and seeing that it has torn armor and awful claw wounds in its pale blue flesh.
[3300.9s] Dragon already got to it.
[3302.6s] And as you-
[3303.6s] I think it's something other than the dragon and we're about to be F'd in a B.
[3307.5s] As you look around-
[3309.8s] Is F'd in the beaming-
[3311.0s] What does that mean?
[3312.2s] As you-
[3313.8s] Is it like-
[3314.5s] What's the B?
[3316.1s] Did you just shorten butt?
[3317.8s] Was butt the word you didn't want to say there?
[3319.6s] Well, I'm going to shorten F.
[3321.0s] I'm going to shorten everything else it goes with.
[3322.7s] You might as well.
[3326.0s] As you get to the center of this room, you look around after you determine that this
[3330.7s] giant is dead and you look around and this hall is displaying the bodies of
[3334.6s] eight frost giants, one fire giant and one cloud giant.
[3338.3s] Ah, it's a collection.
[3340.0s] All dead.
[3341.7s] It's a serial giant killer.
[3343.2s] DTF out of here, you guys.
[3344.7s] Do you want to make a quick perception check there?
[3347.4s] Yep.
[3348.2s] Hey, natch20!
[3350.1s] Sure, sure we do.
[3351.2s] What?
[3352.1s] Then you can perceive everything for us.
[3354.2s] Yeah, no kidding, because I'm perceiving not much.
[3357.0s] I'm perceiving-
[3357.9s] I'm seven, so-
[3360.2s] As Flint and Nulara begin walking back towards the door,
[3363.8s] Thea, out of the corner of our eye, along the side of the walls and ducking behind
[3369.9s] some of the giant statues, for lack of a better term, you see a quick and sudden
[3377.4s] movement of a medium to smallish type creature, ducking in and around behind.
[3384.0s] And they appear to be-
[3385.6s] They?
[3386.3s] Multiple of them.
[3387.4s] They appear to be around the walls, hiding behind these giants.
[3391.8s] Do they seem furry?
[3393.0s] You can't tell if they're furry.
[3395.8s] You just kind of caught a glimpse.
[3397.4s] I try to talk to them.
[3398.4s] I'm like, hey guys, what are you doing back there?
[3401.5s] They don't respond.
[3402.8s] I do have animal handling.
[3404.4s] I try in all my languages, by the way.
[3406.0s] That just means-
[3406.9s] I'm proficient in vehicles.
[3413.1s] Good, well if you need to ride one of these things, you'll be set.
[3415.5s] I do like a, hey, furry, furry, furry check.
[3423.5s] I don't know if they're furry or if they're even sentient creatures, but you know, whatever.
[3428.3s] Yeah, you can do a hey, furry, furry check.
[3431.7s] Now is that an intelligence or wisdom?
[3433.8s] What exactly is going on here?
[3435.1s] I was going to just use my animal handling bonus.
[3437.8s] So I rolled a 17 and I get a plus five on that.
[3440.8s] So that's 22.
[3442.1s] Well, that's very successful.
[3444.2s] But they're not animals.
[3447.3s] And as you move towards them, you see one jump from one giant
[3454.3s] corpse to the behind another one.
[3457.5s] And there are a group of kobolds that look like they were-
[3464.3s] You see some tools and it looks like they were working in there.
[3468.6s] And they are just trying to hide from you at this point.
[3471.0s] Oh, you made them sound like they were small.
[3475.2s] Kobolds are small.
[3476.2s] They're like half the size of you.
[3477.6s] I can't believe I wasted my here furry furry check to dump kobolds.
[3482.3s] Now is it like they were working in the lab late one night?
[3485.5s] Exactly.
[3487.4s] But we're going to kill them, right?
[3488.6s] Like they have an advanced-
[3489.6s] Do we want to talk to them and see what they're doing?
[3491.6s] I tried to talk to them, but they weren't talking back.
[3494.6s] Kobolds can talk.
[3495.5s] Do kobolds talk?
[3496.6s] Aren't they kind-
[3497.4s] Do they?
[3498.0s] I thought they were kind of dumbos.
[3499.1s] Yeah, but they can still talk.
[3500.8s] They can talk.
[3502.0s] Yeah, they're not super intelligent creatures.
[3504.0s] What language do they speak?
[3505.4s] Common, usually, I think.
[3506.6s] Common and draconic.
[3507.9s] Okay, well, call out them.
[3510.2s] Hey kobolds, we see you.
[3513.0s] Like you're not-
[3514.9s] We're not here.
[3515.7s] You're not being sneaky.
[3517.0s] We're not here.
[3518.0s] You're talking right now.
[3519.9s] Henry!
[3524.2s] We're just working here.
[3525.5s] We're not doing here.
[3526.3s] What are you guys doing?
[3527.3s] Not doing, not working.
[3529.2s] Please leave us.
[3530.3s] We don't mean you harm.
[3532.2s] That's what they all say.
[3532.9s] What are you guys doing in here?
[3534.2s] Why aren't you attacking us?
[3535.4s] Never have we met a group of kobolds that didn't want to just like get it on
[3540.7s] in a fighting manner.
[3543.0s] In like a-
[3543.8s] In a non-sexual kind of way.
[3545.7s] Yes, well, I mean, we're just workers.
[3549.3s] We're just polishing and cleaning and making sure his giants are shiny and good.
[3558.0s] You mean all these dead giants?
[3559.4s] Yeah, yeah.
[3560.0s] Well, you have to polish dead giants.
[3565.4s] True that.
[3565.9s] All right, yep.
[3566.6s] Yeah, story checks out.
[3567.6s] I read it in How to Keep a Good Lair.
[3569.5s] That's what we convinced.
[3570.8s] That's what we convinced him that we needs to do so he doesn't eat us.
[3577.4s] Are you captives?
[3580.4s] Maybe.
[3580.8s] Or are you mercenaries?
[3584.4s] We are workers.
[3586.3s] How did you end up down here?
[3587.7s] We were brought in by him.
[3590.8s] Could you be more specific?
[3592.2s] By the dragon?
[3593.3s] Yes, yes, by the dragon.
[3596.3s] We were brought in by him and we look for guidance from him.
[3601.6s] Have you seen the horned lady?
[3605.6s] Yes, yes, yes, yes.
[3609.8s] Can you guys show us where she is?
[3611.3s] We'd like to talk with her.
[3613.4s] We have work to do.
[3615.5s] She, you leave and you go that way and they point right down the hall out the door.
[3624.6s] I don't feel the need to murder.
[3625.8s] Yeah, I'm good with it.
[3627.0s] Me either, but let's just tie them up or something.
[3630.5s] We can't just leave them wandering around, right?
[3632.6s] Let's tie them up.
[3633.3s] I don't know.
[3633.6s] It seemed like they didn't really want anything to do with us.
[3636.7s] Kobolds normally it's like a fight thing so if they're not wanting to fight or throw down.
[3644.2s] I think we're good to just leave.
[3645.4s] What if they will go warn the dragon?
[3647.2s] You could leave us.
[3648.0s] We won't tell him.
[3649.3s] I would think by now he probably knows we're already here.
[3651.9s] Do you know if he knows we're here?
[3653.7s] Knows who knows you're here?
[3656.3s] Do you know if the dragon knows we're here?
[3659.7s] Does the dragon know we're here?
[3661.2s] Well, that was a very clear statement like as a question.
[3667.0s] In the grand scheme of things, who knows who's here?
[3669.2s] Pretty philosophical.
[3670.7s] He knows you're here.
[3671.7s] Okay, thank you.
[3672.6s] Yeah, just honesty is always the best.
[3675.8s] He might know you're here.
[3678.0s] Are you Henry?
[3679.1s] No, no, I'm Steve.
[3681.2s] Okay, Steve.
[3683.0s] Thanks for being honest, Steve.
[3684.8s] You're welcome.
[3685.4s] We won't murder you.
[3686.0s] Steve, you gonna get up in our business if we just leave you here not tied up?
[3689.4s] Oh, we're just, yeah, don't tie.
[3692.0s] We don't need to tie us.
[3694.3s] You need rope for something else, right?
[3696.7s] Probably.
[3697.6s] Yeah, you seem like rope loving.
[3700.7s] We do love rope.
[3701.8s] Just hang on to your rope.
[3704.5s] The major characteristic of our adventuring crew is the fact that we all love rope.
[3709.2s] And fire.
[3710.0s] Rope and fire make good combos, but not for cobbles.
[3713.4s] I say we leave them.
[3714.6s] All right.
[3715.1s] Thank you.
[3715.8s] Hey, no problem.
[3716.7s] Remember this when we go to set everyone free down here.
[3719.0s] You're set free?
[3721.9s] Okay, bye.
[3723.5s] Oh, but tell the dragon anything and I'll come back and let you all on fire.
[3729.0s] Henry will tell nobody.
[3730.5s] And what about Steve?
[3732.5s] Steve tells everybody nothing.
[3735.8s] Steve is the worst.
[3738.5s] Okay, so just so you know, anyone tells the dragon anything,
[3741.8s] I'm going to come back and light everyone on fire.
[3744.5s] What if nobody tells the dragons nothing?
[3747.4s] I just want to get away from all these total negatives.
[3749.7s] How about I light one of you on fire just to make my point?
[3752.6s] We tell nothing to dragons.
[3754.2s] Perfect.
[3755.3s] I'm not tired of this.
[3756.3s] God, I just want to leave.
[3759.9s] Okay, so you go right?
[3762.2s] Yep.
[3762.6s] We go right?
[3763.2s] Yeah.
[3763.8s] You enter.
[3765.8s] You've got room two on your left, room 13 on your right.
[3770.2s] Probably room 13 since her room is one of the ones along the back.
[3774.2s] Yeah.
[3774.5s] Let's go for room 13.
[3776.5s] So a bizarre sight greets you in this rough walled chamber.
[3781.7s] About a dozen giant toads with thick mottled white hides are at work here,
[3788.3s] scribing strange writings into the ice of the walls
[3792.7s] or onto weathered parchment and stone tablets.
[3795.9s] A few toads transfer parchments and tablets into and out of floor to ceiling cubby holes
[3802.3s] cut into the ice along the entire southern wall.
[3806.9s] As you enter, a couple of them see you and call attention to all of the other ones
[3814.7s] and they all start croaking very loudly at you.
[3819.0s] I put my finger to my lips.
[3823.7s] Did that do the job?
[3824.9s] Anything?
[3828.8s] A few of them flee into the back area, the room 14 for your map purposes,
[3836.2s] and they start to quiet down a little bit.
[3839.3s] Most of them.
[3840.0s] Couple of them are still quite loud and kind of hopping around.
[3845.1s] As toads do.
[3848.2s] How big are they?
[3849.0s] So they're hopping mad?
[3851.5s] They are giant toads.
[3852.9s] So they're a medium-sized creature.
[3855.5s] So they're about, I would say about the size of a flint.
[3860.2s] Hooray!
[3862.2s] But actually just toads, not like bipedal creatures that look like toads.
[3867.2s] That is correct.
[3869.0s] And these are toads that are litter, like they're literate.
[3873.3s] They're scribing something.
[3876.6s] Can I try and animal handle them?
[3879.0s] Sure.
[3880.9s] But don't animal handle them, they don't like that.
[3882.9s] Oh, rough call.
[3884.1s] 19 plus 5, so 24.
[3887.1s] So I like make soothing sounds like you would, you know,
[3891.3s] like to a horse or a dog that you don't know, like shh shh shh.
[3894.9s] We're not here to hurt you, just want to know what's going on.
[3898.2s] We're looking for our friend, the horned lady?
[3903.5s] They begin croaking again.
[3906.7s] Make an intelligence check.
[3909.0s] Anybody can.
[3910.1s] Well I only got a 10, so I hope somebody does better.
[3912.3s] I got a 7.
[3913.1s] 12?
[3914.6s] Wait it got flint!
[3915.8s] All right.
[3916.8s] It appears that they are trying to communicate with you.
[3924.2s] You can't quite make out what they're trying to say.
[3926.6s] You don't recognize what they're saying as a language.
[3931.0s] Can I make a perception check and see if I can recognize
[3934.3s] a language in which they were transcribing things onto the wall?
[3937.3s] Yep.
[3938.1s] Oh, fuck.
[3940.5s] Four.
[3941.3s] I did that as well.
[3943.8s] Did you say four?
[3944.9s] Yeah.
[3945.2s] Yeah, I rolled a four.
[3947.2s] What's the thing?
[3948.2s] An intelligence, do you think?
[3950.2s] No, just perception.
[3953.6s] Wisdom perception, yeah.
[3954.9s] Okay, well then my four turns into an 11.
[3959.2s] I have a 16 then.
[3960.8s] Nicely done.
[3961.6s] You don't recognize the language that it's being written in.
[3966.2s] Like is that even draconic?
[3968.2s] It's not draconic that they're writing in.
[3970.0s] Or giant or orcish or goblin?
[3972.0s] Or giant or orcish or goblin.
[3975.0s] Okay.
[3975.3s] What about dwarven?
[3976.6s] Is it celestial?
[3978.7s] It's not celestial.
[3981.3s] I'm pretty sure none of you have it, but let me just double check.
[3984.1s] Is it druidic?
[3985.9s] No.
[3986.2s] I just said all mine.
[3987.7s] So if it's not those, I don't have it.
[3990.2s] Same, Zeus.
[3990.9s] Guys, turns out they were writing in common the whole time.
[3993.8s] Again, I didn't ask about that.
[3995.2s] Well, what about Donnie though?
[3996.6s] Because he can speak telepathically, so can he try to send them like...
[4004.0s] Like a smiley face and a peace sign and a dove?
[4007.1s] Yeah, exactly.
[4007.3s] Like pictures or something.
[4010.1s] The universal sign for you want to get high.
[4012.3s] Something pictogrammy.
[4013.4s] And a thumbs up.
[4014.6s] Yes.
[4015.4s] And like a finger to your lips like shh.
[4018.2s] Yes.
[4019.0s] All of that.
[4019.7s] I love all of that.
[4021.8s] He does something along those lines, but he tells you...
[4028.5s] Guys, I think they do speak draconic.
[4032.7s] They're very slow when they speak.
[4034.7s] It takes...
[4036.5s] It's painful to listen to.
[4039.0s] I mean, they're toads, so...
[4041.7s] Yeah.
[4043.4s] He says that they do have a leader who sometimes speaks more better, as they put it.
[4050.6s] Maybe we can try and talk to him?
[4052.6s] Sure.
[4053.1s] In draconic, really slowly, I say, take me to your leader.
[4070.8s] Music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
[4081.5s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.